The Unwanted Sisterhood

 Not long ago I joined an ancient sisterhood.  One no one wants to be a part of.

I was not trying to have a baby. I had no idea a child had been conceived until I realized I had joined this club that most of us never even speak of. The grief was overwhelming and debilitating. How was I grieving a child I hadn't planned for--or even known existed--so incredibly deeply? 

My husband also grieved. This man who wasn't sure whether or not we should have another child was now sad over the loss of the one we would never meet. I mention his feelings because it seems no one considers how a dad feels during a time like this. He's working hard to comfort me while hurting himself.

I realize many have also had the added grief of never having a child at all. You might be thinking, "At least you have children. You don't really understand how I feel." You are right. My pain cannot be compared to yours. But then, yours cannot be compared to mine or that of a mother who lost her child to cancer, or whose child was taken against her wishes by any means. Any loss of a child, even through the choice of abortion is a hugely significant loss. I have always known this; but now I understand it on a new level.

I write this not for sympathy but to simply share the story of a baby the world will never meet. Darling baby Chase, mom and dad love you to the moon and back!