The Outsiders

They come in all shapes sizes and backgrounds. Some have really hard stories where having parents who are divorced is just the very tip of the iceberg and knowing what faith means is so far beyond comprehension. Some have grown up going to church and are beginning to question what it means to have a faith of their own. Some are loud, outspoken and inappropriate. Others are shy, quiet and not too sure they want to be here at all. All are outsiders in their own way. All are searching for acceptance, love and truth. Each stand on the outside looking in trying to figure out this crazy thing called life and here we are inviting them in. Doing what we can to love each of them with the uncondentional love of Jesus. Trying to show each of them that they are not alone and that the person across the room that they don't understand or even like deserves that same love. For some, loving others is even more difficult because they themselves don't understand how to be loved in the first place. Pouring into these lives each week is exausting and challenging. We're praying constantly for wisdom in our words and actions. For God to use us in deep life changing ways. The road ahead is long but so worth it and some day the outsiders will know they have a place here with us, in Gods family.

The Unwanted Sisterhood

 Not long ago I joined an ancient sisterhood.  One no one wants to be a part of.

I was not trying to have a baby. I had no idea a child had been conceived until I realized I had joined this club that most of us never even speak of. The grief was overwhelming and debilitating. How was I grieving a child I hadn't planned for--or even known existed--so incredibly deeply? 

My husband also grieved. This man who wasn't sure whether or not we should have another child was now sad over the loss of the one we would never meet. I mention his feelings because it seems no one considers how a dad feels during a time like this. He's working hard to comfort me while hurting himself.

I realize many have also had the added grief of never having a child at all. You might be thinking, "At least you have children. You don't really understand how I feel." You are right. My pain cannot be compared to yours. But then, yours cannot be compared to mine or that of a mother who lost her child to cancer, or whose child was taken against her wishes by any means. Any loss of a child, even through the choice of abortion is a hugely significant loss. I have always known this; but now I understand it on a new level.

I write this not for sympathy but to simply share the story of a baby the world will never meet. Darling baby Chase, mom and dad love you to the moon and back!