When Fear Leads to Hate

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." -Yoda

The famous line in Star Wars also rings true in real life. In case you're one of the few who has never seen Star Wars the character Yoda was referring to "the dark side of the force" while speaking to a young man trying to find his way in the universe. It does however apply to our lives, especially in these times.

Anger is a secondary emotion. That is to say that anger wells up from other feelings such as fear, sadness or hurt. If left unchecked this often leads to hate. Our world is not lacking in things that hurt us, make us sad or cause us fear. Because of this we look at a people group different from our own where some are causing hurt and it makes us sad, angry and fearful. It's understandable of course because most of us do not have any frame of refrense to tell our emotions to feel other wise. When people are attacked by a wild animal, such as a tiger for example, with little to no frame of refrense humans tend to fear all tigers and hunt them all forgetting that tigers are vital to our world eco system and never bothering to learn about the tourter that caused the animal to attack.

Of course people are not animals. No humans have even more value....and yet we end up hating each other. We label anyone from a particular group as evil and deserving of any and all punishment that we can dish out. While our actions have consequences it is important to remember that those in that group are in fact individual human beings. Lives that matter to God and therefore should matter to us.

It breaks my heart to live in a time where so many who claim the name of Jesus continue to allow fear to lead to hate without ever looking past the masses to see the humans made in the image of the same God we claim to worship. Yes there is evil in the world. Yes we must fight evil where it rises but may we never ever forget that while we wrestle against evil those created in the image of God must be treated with respect and dignity. (Yes even when they do not show us the same curtisy.) Jesus did not say do to others as they do to you. He said "do to others as you would have them do to you." It's a vastly different statement. One that goes against our very nature. It's easy to treat others the way they treat us. As Christians we are called to a much higher standard. To love unconditionally, not just our family but everyone.

I challenge you to go out of your way to meet someone very different from yourself and your values. Spend time with them getting to know who they are, what they believe and what they value. Yes you will find you disagree often but you will also find that each person you meet has all the same needs as you do, not the least of which is love.

Don't allow fear to bring you to hate. Hate is leads to the dark side.

The Outsiders

They come in all shapes sizes and backgrounds. Some have really hard stories where having parents who are divorced is just the very tip of the iceberg and knowing what faith means is so far beyond comprehension. Some have grown up going to church and are beginning to question what it means to have a faith of their own. Some are loud, outspoken and inappropriate. Others are shy, quiet and not too sure they want to be here at all. All are outsiders in their own way. All are searching for acceptance, love and truth. Each stand on the outside looking in trying to figure out this crazy thing called life and here we are inviting them in. Doing what we can to love each of them with the uncondentional love of Jesus. Trying to show each of them that they are not alone and that the person across the room that they don't understand or even like deserves that same love. For some, loving others is even more difficult because they themselves don't understand how to be loved in the first place. Pouring into these lives each week is exausting and challenging. We're praying constantly for wisdom in our words and actions. For God to use us in deep life changing ways. The road ahead is long but so worth it and some day the outsiders will know they have a place here with us, in Gods family.

The Unwanted Sisterhood

 Not long ago I joined an ancient sisterhood.  One no one wants to be a part of.

I was not trying to have a baby. I had no idea a child had been conceived until I realized I had joined this club that most of us never even speak of. The grief was overwhelming and debilitating. How was I grieving a child I hadn't planned for--or even known existed--so incredibly deeply? 

My husband also grieved. This man who wasn't sure whether or not we should have another child was now sad over the loss of the one we would never meet. I mention his feelings because it seems no one considers how a dad feels during a time like this. He's working hard to comfort me while hurting himself.

I realize many have also had the added grief of never having a child at all. You might be thinking, "At least you have children. You don't really understand how I feel." You are right. My pain cannot be compared to yours. But then, yours cannot be compared to mine or that of a mother who lost her child to cancer, or whose child was taken against her wishes by any means. Any loss of a child, even through the choice of abortion is a hugely significant loss. I have always known this; but now I understand it on a new level.

I write this not for sympathy but to simply share the story of a baby the world will never meet. Darling baby Chase, mom and dad love you to the moon and back!

My Cup Overflows!

I am a mother, wife (a youth pastors wife no less!) missionary, small group leader, photographer, adoption advocate/worker, sister, daughter, cousin, adoptee, friend. I wear all these different hats. There are times it gets overwhelming. There are times I want to lock myself in my room and not think about anything. Tonight I am simply filled with a greatfull heart overflowing with the joy of all the ways that God has blessed me. There are no words to describe how I feel about each person in my life and the way each of you bless me in your own ways. (Yes even those of you who don't believe in God and think I am crazy for doing so) To say that the heartaches in my life have been challenging would be a gross understatement. However, God restores. He gives back far more than what the brokenness of the world could ever take. I see His restoration in my life. I am humbled by the great privilege and responsibility of all the many jobs He has given me and the people placed in my path to show unconditional love.

Injustice

Since the release of the film "12 Years a Slave" I have seen some feedback from some, stating that these kind of movies no longer need filming. These statements came from African Americans. Having had not seen they film until now I speculated, and still do, that this was due to many reasons including the belief that it is time to move passed such stories and hurt. That it continues the circle of hate in our country. Perhaps I am completely wrong about those thoughts and perhaps those more educated than I could explain it better. My perspective, of course is quite different, having grown up in a predominantly white community. As much as I hate it I personally have seen racism in ugly verbal ways. I have heard things that to this day make me sick to my stomach. Having studied history I know of the ugly past of this country and the blatant miss use of even scripture to justify it. Films like this never fail to make me angry and sick and heart broken. I can never understand how a human being could treat another in such wretched ways. I too wish there was no need for such films to be made. If stories of the holocaust, slavery, and genocide were fictions rather than retellings of history perhaps they would not hurt so. Unfortunately, these are not only our past but also our present. Injustices still happen every single day. Thousands of other stories are never told all over the world. Even as I write there are thousands in slavery, or under attack for simply holding a belief or being born a certain race.

As much as they hurt I am thankful that a few stories come to light now and then. May they serve as a reminder to us all that injustice should not be allowed to stand.

That those of us who can do something....anything, begin to make a change. That we change in even the smallest ways by treating each person we meet with respect and love. That when given the opportunity to stand up for others we do so with courage. I want my children to know such history. I want them to see it in all it's ugliness, so that they can understand what happens when hate is allowed to grow. So then perhaps they will understand what love looks like and help it to grow instead. Below are images from just a few groups doing just that. I hope you will take the time to look them up and support them in some way. Or take the time to look up organizations that do what is possible to aid in bringing justice to our world.

T.I.A.

Words can never describe how thankful I am to have been a part of this last mission to Uganda. God did so much through our team. I wanted to share just one small story of how you are helping bring hope to Uganda through the school we are partnered with in Toggo Uganda.
TICC is more than just a school where children are getting a good education. It is a place where teachers and staff care about the children and building a better future for them. This is where kids get to be kids and have a little fun. Where children learn not just about books but about life.

One of our goals as we began children's camp, was to teach the children how to share their testimonies. To train them to be a witness of Gods great love for them to those around them. As three children got up to share their stories, one stood out to us all. Many children will tell of how they passed their exams or how they asked God to heal a parent from a sickness and He showed up for them. Wonderful testimonies indeed. This young man told a different story. With the courage of a lion he took the microphone and through the pauses of the interpreter we heard his story unfold. I'm not sure how old his is but from the looks of him he could not have been much older than 10 or 12 so I stifled a giggle when he started "when I was a little child" and paused for the interpreter. He went on to tell us that his father told him to leave. He could not care for him and he was not allowed to stay home any longer. My heart sank. He briefly described how he began to walk and sleep in the bushes and tears began filling not only his eyes but the eyes of everyone else as well. He described walking to the TICC campus to get a drink of water when "Administrator Gabby" found him and began asking what he was doing. He shared through tears about how she gave him clothing to wear, food to eat, a mattress to sleep on and space in the boys dorm. He thanked God for bringing him to a place where there were people to care for him.

I knew the staff at this school cared for children. I knew they were training them to learn and to build their own futures. I knew they wanted to show Gods love to these children every day. Until this moment I did not realize what an impact their love really, truly made in those lives. This young man who had not been loved by his own family now had been shown love. Through giving a little time and Very basic necessities, he now knows what love is. These are the children who's lives are changing through your sponsorship. These are the kind of stories you are a part of when you help send us to Uganda. This is life changing. This is world changing. This is Africa.

My car in Uganda

Had a dream that I drove my own car right up to the house in Togo. If you know the roads in Uganda and my lil car you'd know this isn't even possible. haha Then again it shouldn't be possible for me to have the privilege to go there at all and yet here I am watching God make a way for me for the second time. I don't know how it's going to happen.

A single mom with no college degree should not be able to come up with those kind of funds. I honestly hate asking people for money to support my trips too. I was raised to be self sufficient and asking for money is completely against my nature. Asking for prayer is no big deal to me though. So please be in prayer for me and our team. Pray not just that God provides our needed funds but also for our hearts to be ready to fallow Gods leading, for the hearts of the people we come into contact with, for the the adoption of little William to be completed so that he can come home with his parents and for the hundreds of children in TICC and GICC who still need sponsors so they can continue the education so important for their future and the future of Uganda as a whole. My heart has been in Uganda for longer than I even knew there was such a place and I can't wait to get back home.